All Mixed UP

So, it's been awhile in the blogger world. There really has been too too much going on. But I was sitting here at work on a Sunday (damn you rental football), and was reading through my old ones, and realized that that is my only connection to the past is through these things. Since everyone knows the story about what happened to my other things, and I won't go on my rant about that, this and xanga are all I have. I had one before all of this, but it was super graphic and full of swear words and I was embarassed by it, so I deleted it. I wish I wouldn't have now.

I was reading all these other blogs by people that actually have something to say or to show pictures of their children, and then wondered why I even blog. I don't have pictures of babies to show grandparents; I don't really ever have anything important to say, and I'm sure if I did there would be a limited amount of people who would ever really read it.

Let's just face it: I am not an important person. At. All. At work, I don't feel very important, even though I am a manager now. Don't really feel like it; still get left out of almost everything. I guess bennett can make me feel like an important person, but I'm his wife now, and it's just more routine to have me around than something special. I guess the last big milestone in my life now is to have a kid. Probably wouldn't count on it anytime soon anyway.

Last night we went out with some friends to Oasis and there was a really great band playing!! It was the first time in a while we'd actually gone out out and had a few. The friends that we were with, well it's sort of complicated. Back before Bennett and I started dating, there was a coworker of his that he wanted to set me up with. So we went out on a few dates, and then there was the realization that Bennett and I had feelings for each other, and me and other guy broke it off. Well other guy had his version of me in another girl. So I had met other girl (they had been friends forever and was super obvious, even then, that they were meant to be together), and obviously she didn't like me very much. Thought she was a snob, blah blah. So now these two are dating, and I guess have been for over a year. But it turns out, she is not a snob and she's actually pretty awesome. And it was never awkward with other guy, so at least I guess that could mean everyone, including me, is getting older.

I feel like these things used to be filled with weekends of debauchery and boys. And now I'm all married going to see jam bands with other couples. Wow.

Soul Mates

SOUL MATE-
–noun
a person with whom one has a strong affinity.
Origin: 1815–25
Dictionary.com UnabridgedBased on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009.

This is the honest definition of the word soul mate. I have been hearing it so much lately, that I decided I needed to write an entire entry on it. I may be the rare breed to think such things, but I think there is more than one soul mate for everyone. "Strong affinity" can apply to anyone. I thought I found my soul mate more than once before I even met Bennett.

When we were doing our marriage counseling, our pastor asked us if we thought we were the only people we could be married to happily. And we both answered no. And neither one of us was hurt by it, because it's the simple truth. You can be married to almost anyone you have a strong affinity for; but you don't want to. You marry the person you want to marry, and that's how that goes.

I can think of 4 people that I thought were my soul mates, and I only married one.

Daniel- I thought this kid was the absolute love of my life. I don't know if it was just young love or stupidity, but I really did think that he was it for me. I almost moved back to Georgia to be with him. This is the classic case of everything happens for a reason. He married another girl that worked at the movie theater and is now living happily with his in-laws in Ohio.

Joseph- Me and Joseph had a very special relationship. He was my first real "boy" best friend that turned into 2 years of torture and love. I honestly don't regret anything with him. He was, and probably continues to be, a great guy. He married one of his best girl friends and is up north living happily with her.

Chris- I thought this was the end with him. I seriously thought, "no more looking around for me, I'm finished." Until I found out that he did not feel that same way, which was heart wrenching, but survivable. I always tended to need him more than he wanted or needed me. We shared a few great moments that I won't forget, and hopefully he won't either, but this is THE case of bad timing. And again everything happens for a reason.

Bennett- Bennett is my soul mate that I wanted to marry. He is a great husband, my best friend and everything in between. I can play with him; he loves me FOR my screaming at football games and for my ability to make an ass out of myself in pretty much every situation. He makes me feel safe and comfortable and always smells good. He is my absolute favorite person in the world.

So there you have it. Could I have married any of these people and probably been happy? Yes. But did I? No. I married Bennett and am as happy as a clam.

That's about all you're going to get out of me for today.

Brett who?

Ok, so I hate Brett Favre. And this is a very very very hard thing for me to say, because I am a Packer's fan. I have been ever since my dad put the Packer bear in my crib. But, he is dead to me.

When he decided he wanted to become a Viking is the day he died. And the day that I really lost all respect for him. And I'm serious about that.

He has done nothing but be a serious pain in the ass since he fake retired, with his fake tears...blah blah. He can say Green Bay didn't want him back, but why would they?? They had practiced all camp without the son of a bitch, and then he comes back and is all like, oh I think I want to play. Then cause all this drama, and I'm glad the Packers told him to take a hike. And I"m glad that he choked in the last part of last season. And I'm glad that instead of walking into cheers at Lambeau, that he will walk into boos. If his old ass can hold out till November, when he will have to come into Lambeau to play.

It really makes me sad. He was like an idol to me; somebody that I wanted to watch play before he retired, somebody who I thought deserved resect and awe and admiration. But he is a washed up, old nobody who thinks he can still throw like he did 10 years ago. And it's ridiculous, and if these stupid radio stations here don't stop talking about it, I might throw up.

Onto better things....I actually got promoted at work. I can't even believe it. I am now the ADRM of the district, and it feels really good!! I had one lady who cried over the other guy leaving, and she really hurt my feelings, but everyone else seemed pretty receptive about it, and didn't mind so much. So we'll see how that goes...hopefully it'll go well. I stuck it out, and it finally paid off.

Weirdest Thing Ever

So I was reading this article in Glamour (I somehow have a subscription to this magazine, accidental, I don't know....that's another story), and it was about these girls that go on craigslist or other websites, can't remember the names right now, but they look for sex with strangers. They don't want any connection with anyone, and do it just for the thrills.

I don't think I would ever be that, well I guess you could say, adventurous, or that dumb depending on how you look at it. I didn't really read about that Craigslist killer, or really know much about it until reading that article, but in a way, they kind of asked for it. It's the simple rules that your parents tell you about before going away to college; meet on common ground, don't give the guy any chance to have any power over you. And this really applies to someone you may have only talked to once or twice on the phone and maybe have emailed or texted, or whatever . Call me old-fashioned, but I think the only way to truly get to know a guy is to actually go out with him. See how he acts in public, see if he is even someone who you want to sleep with instead of suggestive texts. (which can be fun in their own right, but ONLY with people you intend to see the next day).

Now, I'm not old-fashioned enough not to believe in the one-night stand, but that usually includes an actual date with someone you might actually know from somewhere. You know what they look like, you know how they are, and you don't have to interpret an online profile of some dude who may not be the super stud he portrays himself to be.

I guess I can see the "adrenaline-rush" you can get from just going to some guy's house and having sex with him (I'm pretty sure the girl in the magazine has a website...craiglist whore or something to that effect on this very same blogspot.com), but I would be scared that this guy would either be some sexual weirdo or try to kill me . I guess I'm just not very adventurous.

I don't know: I guess it was just an interesting article worth sharing . I may try to go find this girl's website to try to find out exactly what is going on upstairs...and down.

Obsession

So there is this show, Obsession. I think it's on A&E, but I could be wrong, and usually it's about people with unhealthy obsessions, like they pull their hair out or wash their hands 50 times a day, usually people with OCD or something like that. But it got me thinking; if they were to put me on this show, what what my obsession play out to be....

So I figured it had to be my weight. It has been something I've struggled with since high school, probably a little before and have been continually struggling with it. I go up and down and up and down, and I constantly compare myself to other people's weight all the time. I don't do it consciously, but it always seems to come into my mind. I worry about every piece of food I put in my mouth, and make sure that I work out at least 5 times a week. And I guess it's unhealthy to think about it 24/7, and I guess it's a little unhealthy to work out until you hurt, but it's just something I've gotten used to, so it doesn't bother me anymore. I guess it's like those people that pull their hair out or have to count to 20 before opening the door; you just learn to live with it.

And then I thought about another obsession that I probably have; emotional shopping. I don't eat when I'm happy, sad, angry; I shop. Even if it's for something as little as hair smoother or bobby pins. I have been having a rough couple of weeks at work, working 11 hours a lot and being stressed out most of the time trying to find trucks for everyone. It's funny how I can talk to someone at work, and they go through the same things at home that I do; taking out your work aggression at your significant other; going to work before and coming home after them, and just wanting to crawl into bed most nights.

So since it's about 9 am, and I'm sure tomorrow will be just as fun as the past three weeks, I'm probably about to head off to bed for my old people bedtime.

Time to Let Go

So there comes a time in everyone's life when you have to get rid of what is bad for you and keep what is good. And I have been part of a toxic friendship now for 15 years, and I am done with it. I am not drunk, but I have finally started to think clearly.

When you have someone in your wedding, and then everyone asks you what that person's problem was because they clomped down the aisle and then didn't smile, then that pisses me off. If this person didn't want to be in the wedding, then they should have just said so. I asked this person to be in the wedding because of our past and I thought I would regret not doing it, if I didn't do it. Granted that I didn't know that this person said things behind my back, be it about the dress or about my character, before she drove to be in the wedding. And if this person's feelings were so strong about it then she should have not come to the wedding. It's seriously frustrating to me that someone who has known me less time, C, could care so much more than the person who has known me for forever.

C came to the wedding showers; C basically threw me my bachelorette party, and C was there when I needed her. But where was this other person? The person who was supposed to know me for 15 years and supposed to know everything about me? Nowhere. Didn't come to the showers and definitely didn't come to the bachelorette party. I guess I'm more sad and disappointed than angry about it. There's nothing I can do about it; I just thought that she would have been there more for me during this super happy time in my life. But I thought wrong; and if those things she said behind my back were actually true than I wouldn't care so much. And I would stick around to my boyfriend and forget everyone in the world.

But I don't. I love my Dan and Caitlin; and I love my sister, and I love my Robin. I love my Kelly at work, and I love my Alex and Katy. I do not forget my friends, but need to let go of the ones that hurt me and continue to not give a damn about it.

So I will raise my Target brand cherry limeade and forget about all of it. Because from this day on, I am done.

The Joys of Marriage

So usually when people write about marriage they write bad things about how the physical part of it has deteriorated and how the person changes over night into something that they weren't the month before you got married, but I am here to set the record straight.

None of this has happened. It is almost the exact same as exclusive dating. Granted, you can't just "break up" if something goes wrong, and divorce isn't something that people, poor people like me, want to deal with. Being 25 and divorced doesn't sound as great as 25 and still looking. The only difference that I have noticed is the difficulty in signing "redacted" every day, and the difficulty I have to look forward to of going to actually legally change my name. As I haven't done that yet. And since they closed all the satellite offices in Jefferson County, I have a full day of waiting at either the downtown courthouse, or the Bessemer office, neither of which is a fully tantalizing offer, and which requires me to use my last vacation day to do so.

And the reason why all of this has to happen so fast is because all the loan docs have to be in my newly married name, or else it will be a pain in the ass to change from "Redacted" to Redacted" in the future. For future reference and in case anyone cares, the name will now be "redacted", instead of "redacted". For some reason C made a great point when she said if you ever have children they may want to look up their lineage. And I'm sort of attached to the "redacted" name.

So we did in fact buy a house. It's beautiful and I can't wait to move into it. It's a cute quirky little house with a double-sided fireplace and an exposed brick wall, with a fully updated kitchen. We close in August and have the entire month of September to move in. So if anyone has any extra boxes, that would be a good thing to know about....

But anyway, the marriage thing is great. There is nothing different; I won't go into detail about how things haven't changed, but well you know. Things are great as usual. As great as they are though, sometimes I'm forced to think how things would have turned out if we had never met. I mean, what if Bennett had gone to Samford, or if I would have stayed in school in Georgia. But I guess that's what wasn't planned for us and that's why we both did go to Auburn and did meet . We were eventually meant to be together...and that's how it ended up.

Hmmm..

That's right. I couldn't be more creative with the title. There is so much going on, and I'm kinda upset that I haven't kept this blog updated as much as I would like. But I am a married woman now, and loving it. It just seemed to get better, plus the honeymoon was a blast!

But that is not the reason why I am writing. I don't write when good things happen, only bad, and of course this one happens to take place at the land of yellow. So I have a semi-ally who works upstairs, and she deals with lease people, so she's in a different department than me, BUT she is a girl, and she can relate to me. She is friends, good friends, with the captain (who for some reason doesn't like me and makes it quite obvious). My only ally in rental was for some reason fired a couple months ago, and now I'm to fend for myself. So anyway, a couple days ago, the captain asked me to do something; granted I know when he asks you to do something, you do it. BUT, I am already being pulled every which way, and having to do everything else for every other location, plus the one I'm working at, so I forget. But not completely forget, just forget to do it before I leave.

So the captain feels the need to tell my upstairs ally that "you need to tell your girl Laura that when I ask her to do something, she needs to do it." And I'm sitting there astounded. Every day I walk into that place, and every day that I have walked into that place since the day I started, I have given that place my all. I have worked 6 day work weeks; I have ran locations all by myself. I have worked late, worked different locations, taken on new projects, but still can't seem to make my way ahead of anybody.

I'm not going to complain about my job, because I am thankful that I have one, but it does get seriously frustrating when I am pulled in to speak about this.

But it is nice having a good home life. I have the best husband in the world; we have fun almost every night. Sometimes, it is nice to almost have it all.

To Be Famous

When I was little, I had this dream of being a famous writer. Obviously that never happened, and I've been reduced to writing online to a nobody in particular. I am jealous of all these people that started blogs and got discovered (especially the guy who waited tables, started a blog and actually wrote a book about it. Come on! I waited tables too!). But I guess I'm mostly to blame for it, because I settled and changed my mind and sold out to be a business major. A major I thought I could actually get a creative job in, but no.

I used to think my writing was actually pretty good, but it turns out that I had been mistaken from the very beginning. I still have this one story that I wrote when I was in high school in a little blue brad folder. And it sucks. I mean, I guess a 109 page story is pretty impressive for a high schooler, but the main attraction was making out over Chinese food and the girl being attracted to her step brother. I usually did tell stories from first person; I think it makes any book more interesting. And now most of my blog entries are about the wedding and the job, and losing person after person at work. I think being my friend at work is the kiss of death. I miss Mike a lot at work; he was my only ally.

I am excited about the wedding. It's four weeks exactly from today. I had the final planning session with them on Thursday and everything is now set in stone. I guess I'm more ready to just have it over and be Bennett's wife already. I'm ready for "redacted". Sounds so plain. But I love it!!

I haven't decided if I will keep the maiden name as the middle name or not. Probably not. "redacted".

And then I think, this person who gets all excited about weddings and Chick-fil-a and Glamour/Cosmo magazine probably should have never been a writer to begin with. Oh, I have plenty of stories to tell; there are plenty of things that have happened to me to let me have something to write about. Maybe after the wedding when I'm done flying on cloud nine, I will have some time to sit and be deeper.

And Another One Bites the Dust....so to speak.

So another one of my friends has been discarded from the lovely land of yellow. And I'm really sad. He was a super cool guy, and is still coming to the wedding and hopefully we can hang out with him and his fiancee. Makes me really sad actually.... I just had to voice again how much I will miss him on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.... and who knows who I am now left with.

So I had my shower at Erica's last week and it was really great . It was good to see Aunt Karen and Aunt Mart and Bri. Haven't seen all of them in forever. I'm getting pretty excited about the wedding....just have a few things left to do...and then it's over. Can't wait to actually be married.

Fun Things

So the invitations go out tomorrow. I am pretty proud of how good they look. It took a while and a lot of money on stamps, but they are finally ready. Can't wait to finally get a good number on the people coming so we can order the rest of the stuff.

And now that my dad has mandated place cards that has added an additional two or three hours or so planning a seating chart and writing names on place cards and table numbers and all sorts of other things....grr. But he pulled out the, 'I'm paying for it' card, so I couldn't say no.

So a couple weeks ago, we went to see Cory Morrow. He is a texas country singer and just so happens to be singing our wedding song, "always and forever." You should check it out on myspace just to hear it. It's awesome...and makes me cry. But anyway, every new show that bennett goes to, he buys a koozie...and at the end of this night...this is what we got..

Oh yeah..that's totally cory's signature with our wedding date on there and congrats!!! How awesome is that?!!!!

And got my shoes today....

Which I am also very excited about...I wasn't expecting them to be this cute or to fit as well as they do. But I think they're perfect wedding shoes....I can't wait to wear them!!

Fun weekends..

So I'm the only one awake right now, bennett is still asleep . It's something I've gotten used to; I'm a freak . I wake up early, and although I don't like being awake alone, I guess I will deal. This is the time when I get to watch all of my shows that I don't get to watch during the week, so I won't complain too much.

My NCAA bracket is completely busted, but I beat Bennett over all, which earned me two mexican dinners and a BBQ dinner. And the mini keg....ahh the mini keg. We're thinking fondue and mini keg party. woo hoo. Not really party per se, but everyone who participated in the online bracket

SO my dad has mandated that their be place cards at the wedding, which has added an extra job for me to do, not like I had enough to do, with putting the ribbons on the bubbles and on the invitations....and oh so much to do. Too much to do. I wish my mom lived closer and my sister too because planning and executing an entire wedding on my own is absolutely no fun at all. And then I worry that it will be tacky and Ican't decide if I really like the black with the white and pink, like a sunburned zebra... I don't know. We'll see when it all gets pulled together.

We have bennett's work BBQ tonight and Cory Morrow with the Posts. Cory is the guy who sings our wedding song...Always and Forever. And at least we finally have that picked out. But bennett's boys don't have their tuxes yet, and two of my girls don't have their dresses yet. We got our wedding cake topper and bridesmaids gifts this week, both of which are super cute. And I guess tomorrow will be a day of wedding putting things together, and we have our pre wedding preacher visit on Monday. I can't believe there are only like 80 days left. Still so much to do.

Let's Be Panthers

So this weekend was filled with much basketball watching and going to Bennett's friends wedding shower. My bracket hasn't taken much of a beating, although Pitt almost lost today which would have destroyed it, seeing as how I picked those guys to win it all. I haven't had much luck with Wake Forest losing, which sort of screwed me in the eight, and I really would like Louisville to lose, but I don't see that happening, unfortunately with 35 seconds left and they are up by 5. Boo.

I met a couple of Bennett's friends last night, all people he went to high school with, and then a few of the oldies that I had met before. Then, apparently in my St. Patricks day blabber I blurted out that I wanted to go to the Blue Iguana down in Prattville. And nobody else was too enthused with this idea, but since I had committed, we went. And it was a blast! C and I had a fun time dancing with the band and doing some crazy line dancing.

NOthing much else interesting has happened, so I think I'm done, because there is only 17 seconds left, and Louisville is up 4.

Long time no see

Hmmm...a pleasant blast from the past? Very pleasant. Hope all is well with you too.

So maybe a month ago when we went to ATL for our first engagement party, we went to IKEA. And there was a dresser there, and I was all like no I don't need it, blah blah. But super cute, super cheap, I left atlanta without it.

So yesterday we drive into town again to see Robin and Steve. This time Bennett gets me the dresser as a belated birthday gift instead of the bikes we were going to get, and put it together and it looks great in the bedroom!

We have finally picked out the wedding rings, and the only thing left for us to do is to help bennett find some groomsman's gifts, and to find some labels and bags for the candy buffet. I'm going to start addressing the invites at the end of this month, so they can be out by the first week of april. I can't believe that there is almost only 3 months left to go. It was so long ago that we had an entire year to prepare for all of this.

I still have to figure out what to do with my hair (super excited about extensions!), and what to do with the makeup, but other than that, the wedding planning has gone beautifully and I have yet to turn into one of those crazy bridezillas that are on the show. But....did anyone really think I would have?

Snow in Alabama

So, it snowed this morning. That has made two years in a row for me living here. Of course it's already all melted and gone, but it was pretty while it lasted. And at least I can say it snowed here.

The work thing is going well so far; at least it seems like to me it does. Sometimes I still think that I'm the outcast of the place. I try to be like them sometimes at work, but get nothing but weird looks and faces that look like I said something dumb. Like on our conference call last week, I was in JLo's office, and all the people were bitching about the new project, except for Birmingham district. I was trying to be like they all are, but it just didn't seem to be working out for me. They wanted me to make the district look good, and I am trying my hardest; I have never worked so hard for this company in my life. It's discouraging when I get an email from someone else in the country complimenting how well I'm doing, and nothing good comes of it. I forward it on to the important people, and......nothing. It's so frustrating not being praised for a job well done.

It really makes me want to cry, because I honestly don't know what else to do.

?

I'm not feeling the creative vibe today, so hence the question mark. usually I can come up with something, either witty or some relevant to what I'm going to be talking about, but today, I just couldn't do it.

I have somewhat neglected my online world since being able to have off on sundays. I am feeling so many things right now about so many things, that I don't even know what to write or say or really even do. I had my first conference call, ever, last Friday. And I found out too late that my speaker phone did not work, so I made myself look like an idiot. Sometimes I wish I was good at something else besides truck work.

The invitations came yesterday, and they're perfect; just the way I wanted them. I have picked out the bridesmaids gifts, and the labels for the bags. The online world somehow makes everything a little less harsh, and I can't relinquish all sorts of details about my life on here, but the lost art of my journaling kinda died when Asshole Nick stole all of my journals, and I lost the will to write anyway.

Thinking about Things...

For Valentine's Day, in case any one was wondering, Bennett took me to Gian Marco's in Homewood. It is supposedly the best food in Birmingham, and I'm pretty sure it was. We stuffed ourselves, had wine, fried mozzarella with prosciutto in it ( sooo good!), main courses, and then of course dessert. Bennett told me not to worry about prices, so I didn't, although I have a tendency to always pick the cheapest thing anyway...mine was good; so was Bennett's. His was better....

So I'm still working on this new position that I have. I have a conference call with all the big cheeses tomorrow, and I'm a little bit nervous about it. They have given me a work cell phone. I'm way new to all this responsibility at work. And it's not like my title has changed; I just work some more, so maybe in a way that's my pay raise. Instead of taking out overtime all together, they just throw a couple hours my way and look the other way. Which is something I'm not really complaining about, because without my OT, money has been a little tight. It sucks getting used to something, and then them take it all away.

But the new job is going well, and I seemed to have gained a newfound respect from everybody. It was a little rough to begin with, but has gotten better, much better since last Friday. I guess I should be grateful that they finally think I'm capable of something. I just so hope that I don't let everyone down, because I don't know what job would come after this one. I guess if I fail, that makes me permanent MT, and I don't know how I feel about all that.

Anyway, I guess I'm a little tired, and I know it's only 8:45, but I do have a really important conference call tomorrow, and I'm supposed to make a list petitioned by the captain himself, so here I go. Maybe another glass of wine will help....

So tired

So at work, I have been placed in charge of a new pilot project. It is very time consuming and I am incredibly incredibly tired. I haven't been this mentally exhausted in quite some time; although the best part about this new thing....regular schedule!! Monday through Friday like normal work people! The bad part is being under that corporate microscope, and having every move monitored.

They sent us an email about social networking sites and being careful about what we put on them, so I won't divulge any secrets about what I'm actually doing there, but it is tiring. When they sent that email out, I tried to think if I had ever disgraced my place of employment on Facebook or Myspace. I don't think there are any truly embarassing pictures of me anywhere, and if there were, they have all been detagged. So I sit at work and wonder who is the main guy who messed up...

I mean there had to have been someone...maybe telling company secrets all on facebook, but I try my hardest to keep work out of facebook. I mean come on, I work all day, why would I want my one fun "social networking" site to be filled with that stuff?

Oh and another super duper thing...I have my own office now. It's basically a closet with no windows, but I do have my own room with a desk and a computer and a phone. No promotion or anything, just an addition to my status....Service guy said he was going to bring me a plant. Plants or good. I don't know how keen they are on me actually personalizing the place where I will be everyday, or how they feel about music...but I think I will try both to see what happens.

All good things have been happening: ordered invitations, had a fun mardi gras engagement party with super good hurricanes and got a few awesome presents, saw my little baby second cousin who is adorable and asked me to be his valentine...awwwww..

Speaking of Valentine's, Bennett has reservations at a fancy place, but won't tell me where. I've tried to guess but have been wrong every time...I wonder where I'm going...

30 Day Shred

Just a little reminder for me: Bennett and I were doing the 30 day shred by Jillian Michaels workout. Yesterday was the 7th day in a row I'd done it; Bennett did it once and he cannot walk today. Hehe. :)

Weight Obsessions

So, as I was doing what I do on Sundays, I was looking at people.com, and came across a story about Jessica Simpson, and her weight. People calling her fat? Are you serious? Jessica Simpson fat? This is what her sister said:

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz says people should leave her older sister Jessica alone. "I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight," Ashlee, 24, writes on her blog after photos appeared of Jessica, 28, at the Radio 99.9 Kiss Country's annual Chili Cookoff on Sunday in Pembroke Pines, Fla. Under the headline, "Since when did a woman's weight become newsworthy," Ashlee says: "A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure." She adds: "All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard." The singer/actress says she wonders if people would make the same remarks to a wife, daughter, mother, grandmother or friend. "I seriously doubt it," she says. "How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? Now can we focus on the things that really matter."

There are so many things that are going on right now, and it really pisses me off that people are concerned with a woman's weight. I just don't understand why men aren't put under the same glass as women. WE are expected to diet and exercise and be skeleton skinny; but yet it's ok for a man to put on weight and not be criticized for it.

I have had an obsession with my weight since high school. This is not a secret to anyone, so I feel ok sharing it with everyone. It has gotten worse since I've gotten older, because it has gotten harder to diet and exercise with everything going on in the adult world, not to mention the worry about fitting into and looking great in a wedding dress.

It's time consuming and unfair. If the girl gains a little weight, so be it; It would be so nice to look like her, even a little bit.

Anyway, that's my rant for the day. I am done now. Happy super bowl sunday!

Some Saturday Lovin

Well I'm mixin it up a little bit; I switched schedules, so Bennett and I can finally join our church tomorrow. And have found out that I am definitely getting the short end of the stick. Working Saturdays is sooo much better than working on Sundays. First of all, there is someone here most of the morning to help, but mostly to talk to. Makes the day go by so much faster, because see it's already 1, and I'm just now writing you. Well that's really the only reason I have to why Saturday is better than Sunday. Ok, well I have another one; having split off days really isn't so bad. It will make next week go by quicker, and this week seem not as long.

Anyway, so as I was driving home on Thursday, I was listening to the radio, and I texted in to win tickets to see Lucinda Williams on February 27th. And wouldn't you know it, I actually won them. I have never won anything off the radio before; I was excited, and it made that god-awful day a little better.

I keep trying to think of all the things I've won during my life; there's that, I won a photo package from my sorority, umm..I think that's about it. Nothing super exciting. I've won bets here and there, the most recent making Bennett buy my lunch yesterday, but nothing else of super coolness.

So I guess that's all for now. We're meeting D&C for some Saturday afternoon bowling after work and I can't wait to leave!

Customer Service is the Worst Job Ever

I have never had a job that didn't involve dealing with the public. The job that broke me and made me start hating people was waiting tables. You have all these people who think either they are much better than you, and all these people who just suck, i.e. talking on the phone, tipping badly, etc.

But nothing could prepare me for the world of truck rental. I actually had some guy tell me today that his time was worth more than my time. I wanted nothing more than to hang up on this asshole. Let me set the scene: He had a reservation for 4:30 at our location in Jasper, an agent, and these locations aren't true truck rental locations, they are simply that; agents. They have their own business and run the truck rental on the side. Anyway, he shows up to pick up his truck at 3:30, an hour before he was supposed to be there. So the people who run the place weren't there.

He calls me to complain. "I drove 10 extra miles to use you guys instead of U-haul." "My time is worth more than your time deary." "I can't stand here and wait for you people to get your shit together." "This place doesn't even look legit."

I kid you not. This guy said all of this, word for word. Sometimes I really want to just say to these people, then go to U-haul, and I hope your sorry ass '94 Ford truck breaks down on the side of the road.

And the bad thing about these kind of people, is that it tends to ruin your mood for the rest of the day, forcing you to yell at people all the way home. People who ride their brakes down 65, people who think they're so important that they just cut everyone off. I have news for some of these people: you are not that important. You're just not.

Weekend TV Marathon

So Bennett went to Montgomery all weekend, and I stayed at home. I was supposed to go to Erica's, but she canceled due to baby and hubby sickness....

Basically all I did this weekend was watch TV. Below are some of my evaluations of what is on TV nowadays.

Real Housewives of Orange County: I wouldn't be able to stand one conversation with any of these women. Never seen a bigger bunch of drama queens in my life...especially the one that looks like a horse...can't remember her name. Oh and the one who got all upset because her son got a tattoo on the inside of his lip. Never would have known, but for some reason it made her a bad mother.

Real Housewives of New York: Not much better. The only one on here that really drives me crazy is Alex. She feels the need to bring her husband everywhere, even to girl's night. And she calls that a good marriage; that he has to follow her around everywhere. I always thought a good marriage involved some trust....obviously not if you live in New York though.

The Soup: This show is hilarious.

Chelsea Handler Show: Love her, she is my idol.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians: An entertaining show. I wouldn't say that I would never watch it again, but only if there is nothing else to watch...maybe if I only had the choice between Real Housewives and Living Lohan and this show...then it would win out.

Man vs. Food: This guy's job is to roam around and eat. Who wouldn't want this job? He goes to places that have challenges (7 pound hamburger, eating 6 atomic wings, 20 tacos or something). Pretty good show; the only one I've seen him finish is the atomic wings. Oh and there was one with a giant pizza. I could so do that one, especially since the dude got a partner.

I think that these were the highlight TV shows...I watched some movies... John Tucker Must Die (yuck), Devil Wears Prada (love it), and I bought a new one at Target yesterday solely because it was only $13, 27 Dresses (loved it!).

Hopefully I won't have one of these weekends again, because I was bored.

Wedding Stress

So, the wedding is five months out... I am stressed. I don't know about the bridesmaid dresses. I want everyone to be happy with them, but trying to please four girls at the same time is no easy task. It's something I haven't taken lightly, but have decided that the colors I originally decided on (pink and white) will be the end all to the bridesmaid dresses. If it ends up looking ghetto, than so be it...

Not to mention that I'm freaking out about flowers, the menu, trying to find a hotel, trying to find a good invitation. Did anyone know how hard it is to find an inexpensive cute invitation? It is not easy. Finding the save-the-date was fairly easy, but the real challenge has come in the form of some dumb invitation that people will throw away anyway. I'm thinking I probably won't spend too much money on these, because they will end up at the bottom of a trash can...

I didn't think that I would be the stressed out bride, but I guess it's inevitable. I will in no way be the "bridezilla," I don't think it's possible for me to act like that.... Bennett and I were watching that show last night and couldn't believe this one girl even had a guy that would marry her.... All she did was call him out on his weight (this girl had absolutely no room to talk), and she would make fun of the way he ate, his table manners, etc... blah blah. Seriously, you don't marry someone to change them, you marry someone because you love them the way they are. Anyway, hopefully the stress will evaporate as more and more things come into place...

One of my fav engagement pics...

Thank God for Bourbon

So, for this whole week, for some reason, I have had some awful days. I have been stuck in traffic every day, and then I find out that they let Jason go. They are closing the Pelham location, and Jason, who's been there for two years, was let go before people who had just started.

It really makes me worry about my job, seeing as how I was hired before Jason; it just makes me think that I'm next.

Not to mention that I'm all depressed because Bennett is starting classes, and I'm stuck at home, working out, drinking bourbon, but at least that makes me feel a little better about being dumb. Not a whole lot better, but a little.

Birthday Girl

So, today is my birthday. I am, of course, sitting at work. I don't really mind working on my birthday; it has been busy today, and time has flown by. I hate when birthdays come on Sundays though; nobody does anything on Sunday. Which is why the birthday was celebrated heavily on Friday night with D&C and of course, my baby.

We went to Mexican (we have finally found the best Mexican place in Birmingham!), and then out to Blue Monkey, where I was once again forced to take the BJ shot in front of everyone on the piano, no hands. Alcohol, again, went up my nose. I swore that I wouldn't be talked into it, but there's not a whole lot to do when the piano player buys you the shot; it would be just plain rude not to take it!

After the bar, we went to D&C's place to play games. Until 5 o clock in the morning. I guess being 25 didn't slow me down any. But I did get to thinking about what has changed in a year. I guess the biggest thing is that I'm engaged and getting married. I have only had two great love stories in my life (joseph was the first), and I'm marrying the second. Only two people have been able to garner the title of "love story." These are the only two people which I am convinced I ever loved. All of the in-between filler people were wastes of my time, and I never fully fell in love with them.

I applied, and got rejected, to graduate school, based off a test score. I will try again sometime this year.

Robin got married and is having a baby in March.

Deanna and I are finally back to being friends; it feels good.

I got to see both my mom and my dad this year.

I lost 10 pounds.

I can run a mile in 10 minutes.

I have moved to Oxmoor for optimum promotability.

Bennett and I have started going to church regularly.

I've started talking to one of my cousins more often, and also my step-brother.

I am still in love with the best guy I have ever met; I still can't believe he chose me!

So here's to looking to an even better 2009; it can only get better from here!