Life, in General.

Life is hard.

Now I know I'm not stating anything that everyone doesn't already know, but it really does just suck sometimes.  

Work.  The ever-haunting past.  Home life.  House problems.  The continuing self-doubt.    Money problems.  Other people's problems.  How is someone ever supposed to cram all of this into a short 24 hour day? 

It gets so exhausting.  Sometimes I feel like I need to run a bath, turn on some Adele and just cry.  Which is exactly what I did today.  I always heard that sometimes a girl's just gotta cry, and after today/past week, I just needed it.  

It always seems that everyone knows exactly what to say to you to hurt you, whether it be a customer who tells you you're doing a horrible job, or whether someone just simply states that, you don't look that good today, or someone just simply moving on.  

I work to live; not the other way around, although lately it seems that it's all I've done.  I spend so much time at work and thinking about work; it just never goes away.  I constantly put myself down for how I look or how much I weigh.  And that's exhausting in itself.  I get so frustrated looking in the mirror or looking at the scale, and then I get angry with myself for that.  It's an epic battle for me to accept myself the way I am.  and when I say epic, I mean epic.  sometimes I just think to myself, how did I end up with someone like B?  he's so handsome and great, and I feel most of the time that I don't even measure up.  

Anyway, that's enough of the serious.  I have just been in a mood lately.

(flight from kc to st. louis.  dirty windows)

Sometimes you just want to get away.