One of the things that I like about this job is getting to meet new people. You get to meet new people from all over the country, that do the same thing you do and you can relate to them with the same things that are happening to you.
Things are getting better.... it just needs some time.
And thank you anonymous commenter; I appreciate the advice.
New Year
24.1.10
So, it's a new year. I haven't written since before Christmas and one of my new year's resolutions was to write more often. Not only because that was my life's ambition, but because it offers some sort of outlet for everything. I haven't really gone into detail a lot on my blogs, because it was no one's business really. And they usually never wanted to hear anything about me or anything. I mean, one big reader; myself. But I guess in the long run, I will be happy that I did this; happy that I can look back on my life.
So it's basically the same old thing going on. Just working a lot, not seeing my husband a lot. I think that is putting a huge rift between us. We never used to fight a lot. But working 12 hour days, when he only works 8 or sometimes less, and I am never home, and I mean NEVER home. And then when I do get home, I just want to go to bed, and I get in trouble for that. I have started getting up in the mornings to work out, and he seems unhappy with that too. That is the one thing that I give myself; the one thing I do a day that I do just for me.
I refuse to give it up.
Just call me selfish I guess, but I don't really think that I am being selfish. I just want to look good; for him mostly. And for some reason it all comes back to me not caring or wanting to spend time with him. There are just certain things that come with my job. I HAVE to work weekends; I HAVE to work late. There is no way of getting around these things. They just are.
So it's basically the same old thing going on. Just working a lot, not seeing my husband a lot. I think that is putting a huge rift between us. We never used to fight a lot. But working 12 hour days, when he only works 8 or sometimes less, and I am never home, and I mean NEVER home. And then when I do get home, I just want to go to bed, and I get in trouble for that. I have started getting up in the mornings to work out, and he seems unhappy with that too. That is the one thing that I give myself; the one thing I do a day that I do just for me.
I refuse to give it up.
Just call me selfish I guess, but I don't really think that I am being selfish. I just want to look good; for him mostly. And for some reason it all comes back to me not caring or wanting to spend time with him. There are just certain things that come with my job. I HAVE to work weekends; I HAVE to work late. There is no way of getting around these things. They just are.
All Mixed UP
8.11.09
So, it's been awhile in the blogger world. There really has been too too much going on. But I was sitting here at work on a Sunday (damn you rental football), and was reading through my old ones, and realized that that is my only connection to the past is through these things. Since everyone knows the story about what happened to my other things, and I won't go on my rant about that, this and xanga are all I have. I had one before all of this, but it was super graphic and full of swear words and I was embarassed by it, so I deleted it. I wish I wouldn't have now.
I was reading all these other blogs by people that actually have something to say or to show pictures of their children, and then wondered why I even blog. I don't have pictures of babies to show grandparents; I don't really ever have anything important to say, and I'm sure if I did there would be a limited amount of people who would ever really read it.
Let's just face it: I am not an important person. At. All. At work, I don't feel very important, even though I am a manager now. Don't really feel like it; still get left out of almost everything. I guess bennett can make me feel like an important person, but I'm his wife now, and it's just more routine to have me around than something special. I guess the last big milestone in my life now is to have a kid. Probably wouldn't count on it anytime soon anyway.
Last night we went out with some friends to Oasis and there was a really great band playing!! It was the first time in a while we'd actually gone out out and had a few. The friends that we were with, well it's sort of complicated. Back before Bennett and I started dating, there was a coworker of his that he wanted to set me up with. So we went out on a few dates, and then there was the realization that Bennett and I had feelings for each other, and me and other guy broke it off. Well other guy had his version of me in another girl. So I had met other girl (they had been friends forever and was super obvious, even then, that they were meant to be together), and obviously she didn't like me very much. Thought she was a snob, blah blah. So now these two are dating, and I guess have been for over a year. But it turns out, she is not a snob and she's actually pretty awesome. And it was never awkward with other guy, so at least I guess that could mean everyone, including me, is getting older.
I feel like these things used to be filled with weekends of debauchery and boys. And now I'm all married going to see jam bands with other couples. Wow.
I was reading all these other blogs by people that actually have something to say or to show pictures of their children, and then wondered why I even blog. I don't have pictures of babies to show grandparents; I don't really ever have anything important to say, and I'm sure if I did there would be a limited amount of people who would ever really read it.
Let's just face it: I am not an important person. At. All. At work, I don't feel very important, even though I am a manager now. Don't really feel like it; still get left out of almost everything. I guess bennett can make me feel like an important person, but I'm his wife now, and it's just more routine to have me around than something special. I guess the last big milestone in my life now is to have a kid. Probably wouldn't count on it anytime soon anyway.
Last night we went out with some friends to Oasis and there was a really great band playing!! It was the first time in a while we'd actually gone out out and had a few. The friends that we were with, well it's sort of complicated. Back before Bennett and I started dating, there was a coworker of his that he wanted to set me up with. So we went out on a few dates, and then there was the realization that Bennett and I had feelings for each other, and me and other guy broke it off. Well other guy had his version of me in another girl. So I had met other girl (they had been friends forever and was super obvious, even then, that they were meant to be together), and obviously she didn't like me very much. Thought she was a snob, blah blah. So now these two are dating, and I guess have been for over a year. But it turns out, she is not a snob and she's actually pretty awesome. And it was never awkward with other guy, so at least I guess that could mean everyone, including me, is getting older.
I feel like these things used to be filled with weekends of debauchery and boys. And now I'm all married going to see jam bands with other couples. Wow.
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