Sometimes I Miss...

...my short hair.

... the spinach dip from Houlihans (ok, I lie.  all the time I miss this)

...my best friend Robin.

 

...the gulf coast

...my long hair (I will never make up my mind)

...college days.

A New Hobby

A few days ago, B got me a scanner.

I have been wanting one for awhile; ever since my dad told me about his project of scanning in all of his old pictures so he will have them digitally.

So, that is what I have been doing the past couple of days.  My dad, my aunt, some left over from my grandmothers house, plus all the pictures I took in high school, middle school and college?  Yes, you people that got to go through college with a phone in your camera are some lucky folks.  Not only do you probably have more photographs, but you didn't have to go through the burden of carrying around a disposable camera, dropping it off at CVS and coming back an hour later to look at them.

Only to find that a handful of them actually don't look terrible.  

Yes.   You had to wait an hour to find out which pictures turned out and which ones didn't.  And that was only if you could go and pick them up in between classes and work.  Sometimes those memories sat there for a day.  Or two.  Or sometimes longer if you forgot you left them there.  

So here are a few that I've been able to get scanned.  I know it's not Thursday, so I'll only post just a few.

I hope y'all had a great weekend!

I am really excited to have all of these at my fingertips.

I only pray now that my computer doesn't decide to crash.  I really need to get with the times and learn that cloud thing....

Ten Girls I Will Never Be

 

• I will never be that girl who even thinks about working out on vacation.  Please...vacation is for eating bad and drinking everything.
• I will never be that girl who thinks it is my civil duty to have children.  If it happens, awesome.  If not, I will not go to my grave thinking I didn't accomplish anything.
• I will never be that girl who gives up meat.  Not even for a second.
• I will never be that girl who can properly apply make up.  Nope, just not in the cards for me.
• I will never be that girl who doesn't wear high heels.  I enjoy being 6' tall with them on, thank you very much.
• I will never be that girl who doesn't judge you on your proper usage of there, their and they're.  Come on people...
• I will never be that girl who can make a perfect over-easy egg.
• I will never be that girl that doesn't have painted toenails.
• I will never be that girl who is late for everything.
• I will never be that girl who always has a postage stamp.

Lately Part 2

 

* I have learned in the past week that no matter what tough times you go to, you really can only depend on yourself.

*Unless you have a super awesome mom, dad and sister.

*This whole thing with the Malaysian airplane freaks me out.  I honestly have no idea what to believe.

*I honestly believe in the power of the tanning bed.  I don't go often, and I pretty much slather on SPF while I'm in there, but I am a firm believer that people need sunshine dammit.

*I have reacquainted myself lately with the beauty of a pizza that is just for me.

*My obsession for Brian Williams rivals only that of my obsession with Matt Laeur.

*Or that of Charles Barkley.

*I'm glad I didn't do a bracket this year, because I'm pretty sure I would have broken a window (or computer) by now.

*I don't know what they hype over American Hustle was; I do however understand it for Twelve Years a Slave.  

*And your face is pretty much the best comeback ever.  Next to yo momma.

*FUBAR is a great acronym.  Try to use it once today.  Just try.  You'll enjoy it.

If Money Weren't A Thing

These were supposed to be for a failed outfit post, but even I couldn't bring myself to post the disaster that ensued from this attempt.  

But while I was looking through these pictures trying to decide the amount of embarrassment I was willing to put myself through for my "art," I was thinking, how in the world could I make these unbearable photos better?  With a million dollar editing system?  Some plastic surgery?  I know it's a weird way to get at what the topic is about today, but that's how I came to it.

If money were no issue, what would you do?  If you didn't have to get up everyday and go to work, what and where would you be?

I'm pretty sure the very first thing I would do would be to move.  Probably to New Orleans.  

Then I'd sit outside on my bad ass porch on St. Charles (because remember this is a dream where money isn't an issue and I can own one of those beautiful things), sip wine, and write.

I would write about whatever I want because I could.  I wouldn't care about people reading it or getting published, because well, I don't need any money.

I'd hang out in my big kitchen and cook and bake and entertain.  I'd have three dogs running around at my feet.  I'd be able to spend all my time reading and writing (and playing on social media, because let's face it, I have a social media problem), drinking coffee, playing with my dogs, eating crawfish and oysters all day long.

The other thing this "photo shoot" taught me was that you should probably invest in a new bra every once in a while, because that can make or break how you look in an outfit.  I learned that the hard way on this one...

But again, money is no issue, so I'd have a million of them anyway.

So.. if anyone has an opening for the above mentioned, please feel free to contact me by leaving a comment below.

I'd be forever grateful.

 

Are You a P or a J?

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a friend.  We talked about how there is so much judginess in the world.  

I overheard a conversation where a girl said freely to another girl, "I'm totally judging you right now."  I don't know when that became socially acceptable to just say to someone.  

I feel like we all walk around so often and feel that someone is constantly criticizing us.  Whether it be the foods we like, the clothes we're wearing, what we read, believe.  And the list goes on and on.  I don't like to get into politics pretty much ever, but I am not one to criticize someone for what they think or believe.  It's hard to think that some people out there since feel the need to judge or discriminate.  

It's 2014, people.  Time to get over it.

The backlash from the Superbowl Coke commercial.

The backlash from the mixed race couple eating Cheerios with their daughter.

I mean really?  There are not more important things in the world to be thinking about than that?  It just never seems to blow my mind how much other people care so much about others opinions, and then feel the need for an incessant barrage on those opinions.

Drives me absolutely crazy. 

Alright, I'm gonna hop of my soap box here.  This isn't a very typical blog post, but sometimes you just gotta go there.

(via memeheroes.com)

The P stands for Perceiver.

The J stands for Judger.

Which one are you?

Self Interview for Alabama Women Bloggers

When I first started blogging or facebooking or whatever, it was so popular to do these little self interviews.  But I finally decided to put myself out there and try to meet some other bloggers from around Alabama, and actually try to get this blog up and going.

So here we go....

1. What part of the state do you call home?

I've lived in Birmingham for about seven years.  Before that I called Auburn home for the entire four years.  I am by no means a native, but pretty much consider this my home, since I've lived here the longest.

2. How long have you been blogging?

I started blogging when I started college in 2002.  I started it off with easyjournal.com (which I don't even know if it still exists), then went to xanga.com, and then found my way to Blogger.  I was so embarrassed by the stuff I posted on my easyjournal site that I eventually deleted it all together.  But if you search super hard, you can still find my xanga one!  Although, I don't recommend reading it, because it makes my head hurt.

3. Why did you start blogging?

Started blogging as a way to bring my friends together.  We used to all journal from one account, and it was awesome.  As I grew up and graduated and started living not so close to my family, I started using it as a way for them to see what was going on with me.

4. What do you love most about blogging?

I love that it allows me an outlet.  Since I'm not too big and don't have many followers, it allows for more personal information.  Even if this did turn into a gigantic blog with a million followers, I don't think I'd ever change that.

5. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I want to live in New Orleans.  That's pretty much the only standard I've set for myself.

6. What is your favorite movie?

Almost Famous or American Beauty.  I love Kevin Spacey.  I love the music in Almost Famous, and that the kid wanted to be a journalist, which was what I wanted to be in my former life.  You know, before, the trucks and stuff.

7. If you could use any actress to play you in your life, who would you choose and why?

Anne Hathway, because she's beautiful and awesome.  I got nothing else on that one!

8. Name the top 5 things on your bucket list.

*Live in Spain for a year.

*Visit every SEC stadium to cheer on Auburn

*Own a rescue shelter. (of course on the barn that I will eventually have, too)

*Go to a Chicago Bears/Packers game.  And of course root for the Packers.

*Learn how to blow dry my own hair so I look like a supermodel.

9. Who or what inspired you to blog?

I always loved to write, and this was an easy way to do it without being judged or graded.

10. If you could be known for one thing in your life, what would it be?

Being a good friend.

11. Where is your favorite place to go on vacation?

New Orleans, hands down.  I love that city.  If you stick around this blog enough, you'll see a trip to New Orleans pretty much every three months or so.  The culture, history, food.  You can't beat it.

12. Describe the best moment in your life.

Graduating from Auburn.  I had dealt with a sickness that left me not knowing if I was going to be able to graduate.  I got really sick two weeks before graduation.  Through some hard work and convincing on my parents end, I did end up graduating.  Still with honors.  I didn't get to walk, but I got to watch the ceremony on TV, and my best friend at the time wore my honor cords for me since I couldn't be there.

13. We’re headed to your neck of the woods for one day. What is one thing we have to do, and what restaurant we must eat at?

Must go to Saw's for their amazing BBQ.  After that, head next door to Dream Cakes for one of their awesome cupcakes.  If they have the Grapico one, do it.  If not, go for the wedding cake one . Full of deliciousness.  Then hit up Vulcan Park to see Vulcan.  You know the statue man that watches over Birmingham?  After that, head to Avondale Brewery for one of their awesome beers (or Good People!).  Then if you're in the mood for some music, hit up Workplay or Zydeco!

14. What is a tradition you and your family have?

Doughnuts from Dunkin Donuts on Thanksgiving morning!  

15. We all love social media, share your links so we can follow you. 

They're down there...yeah, down there at the end!

Being Brave

(via)

I've never considered myself to be a very brave person.  Actually, I would label myself as a chicken.  I'm pretty much terrified of everything.  Even though I try to act the ripe age that I am, I somehow would much rather just curl up into my covers and hide.

I've had a dream on repeat the past couple of weeks.  In almost every single dream that I can remember, I am in a plane crash.  And in most of those dreams, my family is around me, and I can remember very vivid details.  One where I go back in to the plane to get my purse, even though the plane is on fire.  One of them was a hijacked airplane.

But because this dream seemed to jerk me awake, I really wanted to find out what it meant.  So I consulted Google, and what I found was kind of shocking.

from dreammoods:

Airplane Crash

to dream that a plane crashes signifies that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself.  you are in danger of having those goals come crashing down.  Alternatively, the crashing airplane represents your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt.  you do not believe in your own ability to achieve those goals.  Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.

So, there's that.  But try as I might, I couldn't really think of any unrealistic goals that I have set.  And then they all came to me.

My impossible "dream weight."

My wanting to be the absolute best at my job, regardless of whether I like it or not.

Moving to New Orleans.

Going to beauty school.

All things, which I believe to be unattainable.  Plus, if you've met me for a second, you know my level of self-doubt is off the charts.  So I've decided to take the above motto and make it true of my life.

Scary roller coaster?  I'm gonna freaking ride it.

An opportunity arises where I can move to New Orleans?  I'm going to go.

A magical pill is invented where you automatically become your dream weight?  I'm popping that baby.

An opportunity comes up where I can truly be happy?  I'm doing it.

My goals do not have to be unattainable.  All I need to do is be brave.

Just be brave.

More Outfit Fails

I'm starting to wonder if I could turn this into a theme.

You know, like the throw back Thursdays, what I wore Wednesdays, and my personal favorite, the Sunday Song.

But instead of all those amazing bloggers who are gorgeous no matter what they're wearing, always have the most amazing clothes, and can make crappy light look "the hour," I would just focus on how bad my pictures are.

I think I'm coming up with something here. 

Go with me, here.  

I can't figure out if I'm just non photogenic, or if I actually just can't pull off the outfits.  I even did a fairly simple one in just a white sweater and jeans, and somehow I still look ridiculous.

But I am here to share my ridiculousness, and my possibly new idea.  Failure Fridays, because why would you want to feel good on a Friday?!

Sexiest car on the street goes to that little green thing coming up on the background...

Maybe one day, I'll learn the over the shoulder model thing?

I'm gonna just admit that I totally loved my hair this day, and am scared to admit that I'll probably never get it to look like this again.

Just oh Lord.

I hope everyone has a happy Valentine's Day and that your outfits don't come out as miserable failures!

I'm So Jealous!

As a human being that has observed a few human beings in my lifetime (as well as observing myself), I've noticed that so many people have to battle with the green monster, that we call jealousy.

If you look at everything around you, most of the time it's really hard to not be jealous.  You look at everyone else's blog, and you're like damn... I need to be funnier, or use better pictures.  Or pay someone else to update the blog.  Blog envy.  Now I'm not a super supporter of this thing; I am not on Facebook, and I rarely tell people that I blog, so perhaps the failure of this thing rests on my own shoulders.

I'm not real big on letting people in, so I mainly use this as an outlet and testimony to my life....but I still get jealous that my blog isn't where I want it to be right now.

Being a girl plays a huge part in this too.  It is hard to not look everywhere and wish that you were someone else.  That you had their hair, or their clothes, or their ability to put on liquid black eyeliner.  I was always told that as you approach your 30's (one month to go), that you are supposed to get more comfortable with yourself and that is supposed to go away, but I am not quite there yet.

If you're not jealous of someone else's blog or the way you look, then you get to contend with the many talents of people that you just don't have.

I love taking pictures; my photography sucks most of the time.

I love to read; but it's usually never anything smart.

I love to run; I will never be able to say I ran a marathon.  Ever.  

My life is far from glamorous.  I work in transportation, as I may have mentioned before.  Most of my pictures on the blog are Instagram.  I live in a modest home in a modest city (yo yo Bham), no kids, no super fancy designer clothes, definitely no designer furniture (Hello Rooms-to-go and IKEA!), and definitely don't have any looks to be jealous about.

It's something that even as I approach a new decade in my life that I've struggled with.  I don't know if it will ever go away; I guess I can say that it won't.  

Tt seems that life is comprised of shortcomings, and that if you can just deal with it, and be happy with who you are and what you are, then you will probably live a long and fulfilling life.

So the point of all of this rambling?  

I'm probably jealous of you, and I ain't afraid to admit it.

I

Eye of the Beholder



 

 

I took this picture on a downtown Birmingham street.  I am obsessed whenever I see this; I must have a picture of it.

 

Why am I obsessed with it?

 

Because it took me so long to be able to define "beautiful."

 

I have struggled my entire adult life with how I look; and from what I can remember it goes all the way back to the fourth grade.  Why is the boy that I like paying attention to that girl with the beautiful blonde hair and perfect nose and not me at all?  Ever since I can remember, I've compared myself with pretty much everyone I've met.  I was never satisfied with who I was or what I looked like.

 

So what did I do?  I became this little shell of a girl that hid behind her books and just begged to blend in.  Sitting in the back of glass, not raising my hand, not ever drawing attention to myself.   I remember being in high school and being in such a funk because my younger sister was going out on dates, and I had never even been asked.  I would sit in my room and just cry thinking about how ugly I was.

 

It wasn't until I got to college where I finally decided to stop caring.  Conveniently when that happened, I had my first serious boyfriend, Joseph, who told me I was so beautiful that he couldn't even believe I was interested in him.  And I know that sounds like I base my entire opinion of myself from what one dumb college freshman boy said to me on a first date, but it wasn't like that.

 

After he told me that, I honestly stopped caring so much about what other people thought of how I looked.  I stopped putting myself down every time I looked in the mirror, because honestly what was the point?  Not everyone in the world is going to think you're pretty, and there's really not a whole lot you can do about that.

 

Except tell someone once a day that they're beautiful.  Don't put people down, because seriously, what's the point?

 

And since I honestly don't care, I will share the most embarrassing picture of me probably known to man.

 



If you can find a more humiliating picture of yourself, wait...I don't know if there could be one! 

End of the Week Thoughts

This week has been absolutely horrendous. Work has been horrible, as well as a few other things this week.  

I really hate the quote above, too.  It's one of those things that I really have to believe right now, because if I can't force myself to believe it right now, then I might just cry.

I've been trying to think of some good that happened this week, but I just keep coming up empty.  I will say that I'm starting to feel like I fit in a little bit better at the new place, and that the actual work is getting a little easier.

AND happy to officially say that Ingrid (my ole partner-in-crime from CRST) will be joining me as a fleet leader on November 18th.  Which can only mean good things to come!

Right now I'm just thankful that it is the end of the week, that I have a glass of wine, and Auburn plays tomorrow.

Friends Know

I am the queen of doing this.

I had a friend of mine point out to me this week that I worry way too much about what people think.  He also said that not everybody in the world can like you; there is someone out there who hates you, and there is nothing you can do about it. 

And he's right.  I let far too many people dictate how I feel in my life.  And the more I hear people tell me that, the more I know I need to do it.

So, this weekend, we'll be celebrating B's birthday in Gulf Shores, and I am going to let all these worries go by the wayside.

Have a good weekend y'all!