For some reason, this weekend has made me think. I thought about a lot of things that I haven't allowed myself to think about for awhile. I have been for so long trying to put on a happy face for all those involved; but this weekend, it was a lot harder to keep it in check.
I am not going to my high school reunion. I absolutely refuse. Since the majority of you didn't know me in high school, here is my story. I was never very popular. I had my own group of friends, and I had a job, so I never really got into the politics of high school, or even tried to integrate myself into being one of the popular kids. I had my friends, and left it at that. But if you asked the majority of people I went to high school with, they'd be like, "Laura, who?" I had some mean comments thrown my way, had gum put in my hair, and I have no desire to go and spend an evening with those people. Everyone's like that's precisely the reason you go back, to shove it in their faces. But I don't even care enough for that to happen. So I'm not going.
I've been pretty self-deprecating lately. I'm sick of my hair; I'm sick of my clothes; I'm sick of my body. I usually use sarcasm about my appearance to leverage how I actually feel about it. Sometimes I just get incredibly frustrated; sometimes I just go for a run and I'm better. But the self-confidence level has just not been there lately.
All I've done my whole life is transportation. I have rented trucks; became a manager; became a sales person, and now I'm a recruiter for an over-the-road flatbed company. I sometimes wonder where in the hell I went wrong to be so stuck doing this. I've recently been thinking about going back to undergrad and doing school right. Maybe do some engineering, or nursing. Anything to get me out of this logistics/transportation field. It's also another company where I feel that being a woman holds me back from being able to move up.
Sorry for being such a bummer for the weekend, but sometimes it helps to get it out.
Even if it is just to a computer screen...
All I've done my whole life is transportation. I have rented trucks; became a manager; became a sales person, and now I'm a recruiter for an over-the-road flatbed company. I sometimes wonder where in the hell I went wrong to be so stuck doing this. I've recently been thinking about going back to undergrad and doing school right. Maybe do some engineering, or nursing. Anything to get me out of this logistics/transportation field. It's also another company where I feel that being a woman holds me back from being able to move up.
Sorry for being such a bummer for the weekend, but sometimes it helps to get it out.
Even if it is just to a computer screen...
